8/31/2007 01:16:00 pm
Friday, August 31, 2007
heyheys.
dont know whats up with me being sick so often
but maybe its these times when i know God is here.
Heart of worship was just playing and it just spoke to me. "i'm sorry Lord ferr the things i've made it when its all about you". it made me realise all i've done, how its not in the image of God. how i bear hatred towards people and how i've changed into the ways of the world. who am i to sing praises to God with my mouth, yet spout hurtful words to others. why cant i always let myself be in control by the spirit? life's a blank. izzit all about studying, making it into a good uni and get a high paying job? will i be happy at the end of it? i look back at my years. i mean, despite how much i didnt really like my studies or the environment in mg, i think i had more purpose in life there. i had a social life, i had true friends and i was so much happier. now, i dont hit town in like, months. after school, i continue mugging, eat and sleep. is life all about hmk, study, eat, sleep, shower? church is becoming a chore. and if not ferr the handful of people, i would not be going to church now. i never used to argue with my family the way i do now. who am i to be called a child of God. my cell group has never failed to be an encouragement and a blessing to me and i really thank God ferr them. all these spirtual sisters are truely passionate ferr christ whereas i, can never be compared to them. i guess it takes time to fan into flames again. its just that when life turns into just about studies, there's nothing more that i see God in. always worried about passing tests, hading in assignments on time, doing well ferr graded assignments and quizzes. no more things to life.
be yourself day in nhs is just rubbish. in mg, they have a prize ferr the best dressed class. grace class is following the retro theme of hairspray. is nus high anywhere close? like any class would be bonded enough to be bothered to dress to that theme. arghs. til my lifegets more purpose, my posts are all going to be quite emo-ish. i'lltry to be happy though. although its rather superficial right now.
plusi 'm down with a rather annoying fluu. fever and sore throat and cough. plus my eyes are swelling because of too much sneezing and my nose is having a marathon. maybe i'll be the next person dead on a long run. the upcoming charity run. hahahs.
BYEBYE!
