4/30/2007 12:42:00 am
Monday, April 30, 2007
i think i cant take it anymore but i really dont know what to do. i'm in a state of dilemma. i dont even know if anything was meant to be. they say the test of time tells best. maybe its true and now we know the strain of this whole thing. the smiles that are never real anymore. the smiles that i can never get back. even if i do its not from you. its all the tears that i get. iono if i'm silly or dumb or whatever. all i know or maybe i should realise is i most probably made the wrong choice and i should stop hoping it'll change coz it'll just get worse by the days. i gave away my chances of never crying again. i chose you although even when you werent able to assure me that i will be able to smile. i'm really controlling myself. i dont know why i'm deceiving myself. i'm not myself. i started off not knowing who i really was. i'm going to end it by not knowing who i am. everything about me is so unreal. every change is just so that you'll be happier but you know that you're not in love with me. its some artificial girl of your dreams that will not last. i shall not go on. its just abig mistake. even the slightest good memories dont hold anymore. i dont remember them all. i think of you i think of tears. i think of heartaches i think of suicidal acts. i get stressed when i dont please you. and all you want me to do is talk when you know i cant talk. i hate talking. all i say is things that make people laugh. i dont even get to do that anymore. even more hurt because of the same root. my only acheivement is robbed from me. i give up friends i give up studies i give up spending i give up time. must i give up my life before you're satisfied? then you will be able to tell your friends what a great person you are to make a girl like me become like this because of you. i chose not to believe what my friends said of you but its so tempting ferr me to believe them now.do whatever you want. continue breaking me. ruin my future. go ahead. coz you're doing a great job. now i'll just get through a local uni maybe. maybe not even there. i wont even get a chance to go to uni. and i wont become a taitai. coz you're not the kind of guy that i always say i want. i say i want riches and spiritual and charisma. and its all words only. coz it was none of these that drew me to you. i hate myself. why cant i be more courageous instead of letting you lord over me. go back to being your guy. let me be myself. maybe i should seriously sit down and list down what reasons there are to love you and i'll be more courageous to be who i am. because in front of you, i can never be who i am.
4/24/2007 12:02:00 pm
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
hellos[:
speech day was great!
just the rocket part was funny
hahahs. yea[:
maehwee and her pole dance
my mommie spoke to cheeguan's mommie
our cheer had all stunts up!
choir was okays[:
i love our cheerleaders![:
hypertoxic[:
we can do toetouches and lift ourselves!
cheryl misses flying!
thankies retard ferr your shoes and socks[:
i loveyou!
i'll get back to my hmk[:
byebye!
4/23/2007 08:34:00 am
Monday, April 23, 2007
whopee. i'm bored. hahahs.
i havent came here in forever
i got speech day later and i'm still eating chocolate!
ah! mae help!
hahahs.
ohyes we ate MOO after forever![:
hahahs.
relax cheryl. dont be so upset
i love your smile!
jiayou ferr speech day!
that goes out to cheer and singers[:
and all others performing
like CO and orchestra, dance, drama[:
yea.
and our kite flyers including HUIXIN!^^
hahahs
she's so funny
okays i gtg.
byes!<3
4/08/2007 07:29:00 am
Sunday, April 08, 2007
hellos!
ytd was so BAD]:
i malufy myself lahs
and thankies to mitch!
he fixed my shoes[:
that lasted two minutes
hahahs
then during the 2nd half,
weijin and i fixed my heels!
with his other two friends
of which one thought i was yr 3!]:
but, yea.
they're so funny
and i'm not going to marry anyone ferr offering my a shoe
nor am i marrying the one who fixed my shoe
hahahs
so mitchell aint prince charming of knight in shining armour[x
you're just my nice kor
hahahs
but thankies to those who gave me plasters
yea
and ben should not tease me]:
i'm older.
and i refuse to take off my other shoe
hahahs.
sorry ferr making you run up and down looknig ferr me
i'll call it the meeting place next time[:
dinner was fun
bryan should give the pen to her
not us. hee
then we had supper at macs toos
weijin's super funny!
doing his rabbit thingy during the concert
hahahs
and his friend studying physics
or attempting to
dont know
and they AHEMS
i shall not comment[x
maehwee knows!
ohyea
we saw our exhibits!
hee[:
okays i shall stop
i'm just happy[:
4/02/2007 11:50:00 pm
Monday, April 02, 2007
WHOPEE!
today is hyper day ferr tmh and i
i love my acid partner!^^
the way we chose neoprints
the way we supose to sleep but didnt
the way we laugh like crazy
the way we eat hotdog
the way we cut neoprints
and the way tmh mix up words
such as yap and yang[x
and the lyh and i msging
hahahs
tmh still dont know
but i cant say
sorry acid partner!
i still lvoe you tons[:
more neos soon!
hahahs
i love hippo a lot a lot[:
4/01/2007 11:57:00 am
Sunday, April 01, 2007
i got 18 more days til cross country]:
i got 23 more days til speech day
i'm going crazy from hmk
i decided to sing ferr speech day[:
so did gel
hahahs
plus angela and i are going to get abs!
hahahs
its all because of cheer
and i love tmh[:
coz we took half an hour
to decorate neoprints[x
and i saw stepho at ps
hahahs.
i love going out
but i got too much hmk]:
back to hmking
i'm sick]: