%THE SHEEP STORY

8/22/2006 11:24:00 pm

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

two posts in a day since people complain i dont blog enough. i really dont see much future ferr myself. i really wish to drop out of school. i want to go back to a main stream school. i've had enough of people saying i'm smart because i'm not at all.i'm like doing badly now. so what if my maths used to top everyone else last time? sleep ferr 45 mins ferr the paper and i still could pass? i cant do it now. now i dont even have enough time to finish a paper. see my standard now lahs. its like so lousy. i've deproved.

moving on. i really dont know who i can trust right now. the person once so dear to me is just like another friend right now. i miss the old times. but i've heard many say. friendships rarely last a lifetime. cant ours be that one out of a million? when will something that i really treasure last? i dont even think anything will last over a long period of time. things rust. decompose and rot over time. so much ferr true love. its never going to exist as much as i wish it would last. even relationships are a hassle. whats love if its all about wkling along town areas, holding hands, cuddling or kissing to tell the entire world that you've got a partner? furthermore, that person got to look good to make you look good. then in true love, the relation is strained to the world's ideal love thingy. true love waits. its patient and kind. self sacrificial and you get my point. where did the physical aspects come in? its just like flavours.

why cant i continue living in an unrealistic world? the mel's fantasy world is better. i sometimes look back and wonder. why did i ever want to grow up last time? now i really want to go back in time. to be a kid. so carefree. cried whenever i wanted to. had a maid who was like another mother to me. even now she's still so caring when she's back in her country. i need something to get me moving. i'm drained. totally. nothing's left of me to carry me through. i know almost everyone in class can tell i'm no longer as happy go lucky. i'm sorry. i'm trying my best to be happy again. so we should all smile!

Dear daddy up there
i need your light to shine down on me and pour your holy spirit out to me once more. i need your touch and your strength. i want to fly on eagle's wings and soar through the winds with You by my side. i want only You. i hope the closest ones to me can understand and would respect this love that i want to develop with You. its not that i dont love them but You're first place in my heart. You make my life right. i'm giving the wheel of my life to You once more. at the crossroads lost ferr directions of where to head. PLEASE BE MY GUIDE AMEN