7/14/2006 11:27:00 pm
Friday, July 14, 2006
WHY AM I EVEN INERESTED IN RUNNING?why do i choose to take all my emotions out on running? maybe what ryan has said is true. its not solving anything. why do i run and end up getting even more hurt, more upset? why cant i feel normal if i dont run ferr one day? i feel a super wierd feeling if i dont run in a day. i felt super lousy when my ankle was injured. it started hurting after training. i know the muscle pain is normal. but the ankle is collapsing. i dont care already. i'll just run while i can to do well ferr cross country. i really want to give it my best.
WHY AM I SUPER EMOTIONAL?honestly, i get agitated super easily. its just that i can put a lot of things within myself. only showing it to super close people. and some people who DO NOT understand whats going on just have to make it worse. you know how super ultra mega annoying that can get? so if you think you're way worse or you have tasted every single thing in life, DO NOT TALK TO ME. i do not need you to tell me that i'm not going through a lot. you think you know me but you dont at all. so dont act as if you do. you dont know the slightest thing about me or whats happening in my life.
WHATS WITH EVERYONE VENTING FRUSTRATIONS WITH ME?maybe you guys aint. but all your words are making me feel this way. i try to look at it differently but i cant.fine. so i dont put in effort into relationships or friendships. so how? you guys think i dont sacrifice ferr it. i'm sacrificing super a lot of ime when i suppose to do my hmk but i'm talking to you. i could be sleeping but i'd rather talk to you guys. and i get scolded ferr it. i try to go out. but you should know i've got authorities now. i cant be like myself last time. even if i could, i dont want to. let me live an ordinary student's life. PLEASE.
what is wrong with me?someone help me. i realised how much i havent been facing up to reality. I really want Jesus again. i realised how much issues i've avoided. i've deceived myself about. ya. there's something wrong with me. DEAR DOCTOR JESUS. help me. listen out to the desperate cry of your child. i miss my previous kind of life. i want it back!):
WAN<3
