7/04/2006 08:19:00 pm
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
how do i survive if i cant run?
my doctor jsut gave me a warning. if i really want to be able to run for a longer period of time, i've got to let my ankle rest now. if i run now, i might not be able to run next time then. how should i make a choice? why must God let me have a hurt ankle when i really need an output at this point of my life? the worst times of my life. fine. its my fault that my ankle's badly hurt but why cant He just POOF and make it better? why must i be in NUS high by His grace? why must He make me love maths and science so much? why did He even make me enter express stream or get into some high up there schools? i've never been to a neighbourhood school. maybe it'll be so much better. cross country's approaching and now i doubt i can run. i'm set to take napfa this yr. i havent taken it before. i told myself last yr that i'll do it this year. my doctor said i could if i train. after all that trying so hard, i really want to take napfa. cant i just be a healthy girl ferr once? its annoying to always fall sick. or whatever. i cant run so i'll start banging my head! arghs.
now to grace.
you're someone that is super important in my life okays. i feel super wierd if i dont talk to you. you're more of my sibling rather than my own brother. you helped me with so much lahs. and i really mean it that if no one wants you, i'd rather abandon everything so you wontbe lonely. just like how i've realised you and someone cant get along too well, i chose you over that person. i wish i could live with you. sadly, my parents dont allow. i'm really scared i'll get influenced super easily. sometimes i have thoughts in my mindof just beinglike a total ahems. bitch. but i realise that its not what i can offer to God and its not what my friends would want. i think i'm really getting off track on my spiritual side. my life is sotopsy turvyy now. thats why i have to keep talking to you. i've never had a better friend than you. who cares whether peter says that we wont be friends once i'm in a different school? we've proven him wrong! hahs. hahahs. our friendship will last okays? smiles. i'll never leave you ferr anything. no more other person ferr me. dont want what has happened to repeat itself. unless you can get along with the next person. i'm trying hard to let go and to forget okays? smiles. we're dependant on each other!(:I thank GOD super a lot ferr letting you into my life! i'm sorry if i ever made you angry. especially the time when i yelled atyou just because you dropped my calculator. you know how much i adoremaths lahs. i'm super sorry girl. seeyou(:
ohman. i think i really need someone to talk to me and to let me talk forever and ever. i really love my church buddies.(: DANCERS! cell. you all make my life so much better lahs. janice is just like my parent now. i dont want to be lead astray! sometimes i'm so tempted to just drop out of school or something.
